Reads for a Pastor’s Spouse
In March, we celebrate women and their many contributions. Women in ministry deserve celebration. The following are six books that I, as a pastor’s wife, have found helpful.
Together: A Guide for Couples Doing Ministry Together, Geoff and Sherry Surratt, Thomas Nelson, 2018.
It is often hard to separate a wife’s ministry from that of her pastor husband. Even when both wife and husband have a ministry call, ministry marriage has its own strains and surprises. I appreciate that the Surrats acknowledge how ministry marriage changes: sometimes a couple works closely together; sometimes they don’t. The Surrats’ straight talk about living with balance in the “fishbowl-pressure cooker” of ministry is invaluable.
Help, I am Married to My Pastor: Encouragement for Ministry Wives and Those Who Love Them by Jani Ortlund, Crossway, 2021.
Jani Ortlund brings over forty years of experience to her writing. She covers such pertinent issues as depressed husbands, regressing romance, and forgetting the names of congregants. I especially find this book useful because it is both hands-on and uplifting.
How to Thrive as a Pastor’s Wife: Practice Tools to Embrace Your Influence and Navigate Your Unique Role by Christine Hoover, Baker Books, 2022.
Just released this month, How to Thrive is Hoover’s third book addressed to pastor’s wives. I appreciate that you can download an accompanying discussion guide: an invitation to connect and share ideas with other pastors’ wives. Married to a pastor in Charlottesville, VA, Hoover also hosts an information-filled website entitled “Gospel Truths for Women” (http://www.christine.hoover.net).
Letters to Pastors’ Wives: When Seminary Ends and Ministry Begins by Catherine J. Stewart, P. & R. Publishing, 2013.
If the experiences of one pastor’s wife are helpful, how much more the experiences of eighteen? These letters discuss a variety of subjects, from hospitality to personal devotions to handling criticism. I also found touching the fact that each new chapter’s author is introduced by a note that her pastor husband writes.
The Pastor’s Wife: Strengthened by Grace for a Life of Love by Gloria Furman, Crossway, 2015.
Of the books mentioned in this list, Furman’s was the first I read. I connected my own thirty-five years of ministry with the experiences of another pastor’s wife. Ministry is rewarding and draining, touching and comical all at the same time. Gloria Furman has a helpful section on the Church and our call to love Christ’s Bride.
Sacred Privilege: Your Life and Ministry as a Pastor’s Wife by Kay Warren, Revell, 2017.
A pastor’s child as well as a pastor’s wife, Kay Warren has seen many sides of this life. Along with her husband, she planted the Saddleback Church and saw it grow from a handful of people to over 20,000 attendees. As she has been in the public eye and faced real highs and lows in her ministry, Warren’s openness is refreshing. Sharing insights from conversations with other pastor’s wives, Warren speaks joyfully and honestly about ministry to God’s glory.
